The ‘Maapilai’ By Abhishek Iyengar

For those who can take humor in a humorous way!

He sits there gazing at every family proceedings! a sense of pride in him, he declares himself as the ‘adhipathi’ <leader> of the masses. He is one of those pseudo dons who directs the whole family on his finger tips. He is the declared-universal king!

“He wants coffee!” shouts a person in a shrieking voice which probably symbolizes tension; “He is sitting there for long enough and still haven’t seen the first sight of coffee! oh my god! huh!” sighs the auntie’s draped in sarees adding to her sweat and woes!

He sits there with his leg twirling at every person coming near him to talk, he shakes his head gently and raises his voice which is nothing sort of the voice of a parliament speaker! he represents no one but his own sense of ‘pride’ which looks like a condition of ‘hysteria’ for people who are born to hate him but forced to ‘love-him’

“Did you talk to him!?” exclaims a aged yet excited granny with her spectacles falling off her slippery nose! “oh! is he here already?” answers a tiring yet forced old aged man tying his dothi ‘upside’ right up to his knees! sometimes ‘even his hands follows protocols”

“How are you? how is your work? did you eat something? did you have your 300th dose of coffee for the day?” the question hour begins! answering them is left to his priority but he has all the rights to discard it however and when ever he wants, he is the ultimate messiah after all! “You girls are here! what a nincompoop you girls are! he is there sitting idly, go talk to him, wish him, greet him, serve him..” shouts the mother to her other daughters in a voice which shrills only at his name!

“oh! he is soooo sweet……” exclaims nincompoop 1

“and soo talented…..” adds nincompoop 2

As they circle him wondering everything about a man who has done ‘nothing’ and firing questions which probably makes ‘Alexander as an ordinary man’

“Oh god! he is a software engineer!” boasts the father (right! amidst other 10 million software engineers in this world!”)

“Good gracious, he works for inf*****s!” exclaims the uncle (“right! amidst other 5 million people in bangalore!” )

“look at his diamond studded watch!” sighs, the uncle’s uncle (“right! if only the girls father had enjoyed his own life!”)

“He has a H1b visa stamped” whispers the uncle’s uncle’s aunty (“right! even the pirates of Somalia have their visas stamped!”)

“He is A MAN!” declares the uncle’s uncle’s aunty’s nephew (“Right! thank you!”)

“Get it going!” shouts the uncle who is believed to be a major in army as the battalion of servers come up with plates and place before him! he has all the freedom to just choose what he wants to eat, his one look at the plate! the next moment it is on his lap! as he looks around! to get some fresh air, people wonder what it is like to be………

It is no joke either! he has earned all his life to get to this position. Years of playing ‘marbles’ and ‘street cricket’ at the local playgrounds, hard nights of sleeping before the exams! Scores of friends in college, pages of paper rockets! extended years in destitute engineering colleges! hours of waiting on the benches of any IT company, days of self appraisals, minutes of achievements! seconds of intelligence in choosing the right girl, bunch of relatives with attitude and moments of pride being a guy; he has finally officially bagged it.

He is now a “SON-In-Law”, the esteemed “Maapillai”<son-in-law”> and oh! his achievement?

“Being a guy!”

 

The Year that was, 2011 for WeMove By Abhishek Iyengar

“We were wrecked, we were morally down and we had an entire year ahead! what we did seems just like a dream roller coaster ride”

It was in December 2010 when we wanted to break out of our shelves, our barriers had become our biggest weakness and what seemed so comfortable was now all of a sudden a burden. WeMove theatre had just recovered from an internal turmoil and what was very proudly called till then as “WeMove foundation” was just “WeMove theatre”

Our first barrier was to venture our most successful play “Malgudi daze” outside Bangalore, our battle ground was named as “Chennai”, the battle was tough and so were the opponents. Weather, availability, auditoriums; some times it looked that even the respective state government’s were against us. It seemed like a fairy tale when I stood there at Alliance, seeing a full house in Chennai and slamming both their hands together in joy and excitement, they wanted to see more of us, we were move’d.

What followed later was more than a dream, before we could really open our eyes properly, we were standing in “Nehru, auditorium, one of the biggest auditorium in pune” with back to back shows, the tunes of our own malgudi resonated all over pune.

In a very interesting incident, I was once traveling in a local bus in bangalore, surprisingly I heard a person humming the new tune of Malgudi, surprised and excited, I set out to find that person. When asked he told me its the new tune by some “we…theatre”! the words still echo in my ears

NAMMA METRO, a play which changed the course of WeMove theatre was premiered in 2011, a Kannada play written on Bangalore showed people that there can be plays done solely on Bangalore. Contemporary Kannada plays were just a ‘thing of talk’ till Namma Metro was first staged in Seva sadan. They connected to it, they enjoyed it, they applauded, 8 characters, 8 actors essayed the life of people in bangalore on stage; idealy we were just showing their story to them.

January 26th when the whole country was busy counting the years being a republic country, WeMove shot its first trailer, a first of its kind to promote theatre. A movie to promote theatre was beginning of a dream which later saw its light, “WeMove Digital”

Namma Metro was invited to perform at the most prestigious stage, Kalavedhi at MES college. It was nothing sort of a drama in itself when one of the founder of WeMove started his theatre carrier at the same stage. KH Kala soudha, Mysore Rangayana, Sevasadana, Namma metro was house full where and when ever we staged.

WeMove’d, WeAchived, WePerformed, WeSurvived; We were just WeMove

Back to back shows, we were tired and that’s when we called for more people, We were filled, not with people but with their love! 8 new people joined us some remained, some decided to move on. Year 2011 saw the first “Director in making” from being a just an actor to Production manager to become a director, WeMove theatre was now seen as a platform for people to come and explore talent. Probably no theatre group allowed a Production manager to become a director, WeAllowed.

I shouted at him in the light room and asked him to get out! he went out silently not to resort to any revolution but only to realize that his dreams of becoming a director was seen flowing out int he form of tears that day

Nannavala Kagada, a Kannada play written by veteran Gundurao was re-directed and re-modeled, WeMove by now had a distinct name, Nannavala Kagada, A WeMove theatre play was enough for people to buy our show tickets. They never cheated us and so do we, at least we believe so.

The first Kannada play with a Blue/Jazz english music, The first kannada play with an unique stage setting, The first Kannada play to have been re modeled to suite the younger audience, Nannavala Kagada saw WeMove’s most promising upcoming actors.

Dreaming is not a sin! dreaming big is not a sin either but not to chase that dream is a sin, WeChased it, I would rather out it as WeAchieved it

23 people every day at rehearsals trying to do justice for their role, 2 parallel productions, We wanted more! i-Theatre a dream which we thought we would never achieve it saw its light in year 2011, week end performances, discussions, fights debates, new relationships WeMove witnessed everything in the year 2011.

Years 2011 saw the launch of must awaited “Namma Metro” train, bangalore which was just a normal quite neighborhood city was now a METRO CITY officially and WePerformed there!  WeMove theatre performed at Bangalore’s first flash performance in a bid to keep the trains clean which landed us straight on the “front sheet of Times of India”we were happy, we felt satisfied, we felt we were WeMove!

We fought and we fought hard, it was in year 2011 where we took on the director of NSD over dis appropriate usage of rehearsal space built by government.

The look on his face told me that his times were over! his power as director was just limited to people who bowed in front of him but we were WeMove!

People quit, people joined, people criticized, people applauded, people interviewed, people laughed, people smirked , people sighed, people revolted, people smiled, people covered, people hugged but we were just WeMove

The year that was 2011, WeMove Theatre and now ‘WeMove Digital’- spreading joy and theatre!

A bill board in Sharajah cricket ground once said, “I have never seen god, till then I will just see Sachin Tendulkar, I will just modify that statement today

“I have never experience true happiness till then I will just work for WeMove Theatre”

Wishing you all a very new happy year- Abhishek Iyengar

 

Brick by Brick 49 and not OUT!

It feels good to come back to word press editor and express myself!

Brick by Brick, We are 49 and still not OUT! I cannot imagine that I have gone on stage for 49 times and each time I go i feel that i am stepping it for the first time! As a shy young guy in school, my passion towards theatre was just a reason to miss classes then.

If I remember I was in 8th and it was time for “Drama competition, dyed completely with talcum powder my first role on stage was just a mere 80 year old man, that day when I stepped on stage for first time seldom i knew that i would do that some day 49 more times.

9th standard it was and I was rejected for not knowing the basics of theatre and being pathetic actor, upon much pursual my teacher decided to give me a role which probably she just created out of sympathy. A role which lasted for 3 minutes in which I just had to call out the main protagonist on stage!

That was the day when I cried for long hours, it some where seemed that I liked theatre; if only I had the mind to realize that day! Engineering days were lot of struggle! to just bring one skit or a play onstage! people laughed, they termed Theatre as ‘not-happening’

Early in 6th semester when the desperation about theatre rose, that was the time when facebook were just 2 separate words put together and orkut buykyton was writing his first lines of code, Social life was all about knowing a personality or coming from one’s family’s clan! One of my friend referred to me an audition by a noted Theatre director at silk board!

Not stepped beyond Malleshwaram with a physiological feeling that bangalore ends at Malleshwaram, I stepped out to face my first professional auditions with a close friend of mine! who accompanied me for no reason only to tell “Maga good luck!”

I was beaten completely at the auditions, I did not have the courage to act, I did not have the charisma to impress the theatre director and i was submerged in what was then called “Ignorance and lack of knowledge”

“You will be my Assistant director, my BOY!” he exclaimed I jumped in joy!

That evening I was traveling in train to mysore, standing on the last few steps of the train, i echoed myself that my entry to this so called “theatre” is coming near! I was thrilled, I was excited, I was afraid!

Only to realize after 2  months that I was just taken to make sure every one gets their dose of tea and coffee at right times, I called it “QUITS”, as I sat on a circle near my house alone, tears rolled down my eyes, I looked at sky and the heavenly gods mocked at me!

Theatre was just a fantasy! my life was filled with c, c++, JAVA and many unknown lines of codes in which I never had any taste.

2 years later, WeMove happened! WeMove productions, WeMove foundation for Performing arts and now WeMove Theatre!

Days rolled on as shows rolled on and today I stand on 49th show, Experiments after experiments, failure after failures, change in managements, change in guards and what not! People changed, places changed, mindsets changed what stayed on was just 2 things, “Theatre” and “passion for theatre”

As I wipe my tears today which rolled out 6 years back,  I want to go back to the same circle look at those skies and echo back! that I repeated it 49 times and the only one to repeat it 49 times in WeMove.

Brick by brick, we are 49 and not out!

They Came and They Moved!

Not long before, when the doors of creativity was made wide open, A college student in his early 19′s came running from the audience with a desire of doing theatre!

Hanging his side bag on his shoulders, he came into the scene when things were apart, he was then just a marketing executive, his eyes spoke of his dreams and passion towards music

Scattered hair, parallel thoughts, a completely unseen character sat silently in the rehearsal rooms of Ravindra kalakshetra watching the proceedings, all that he had to do was come on stage for a line which was not even part of the original script.

Today, the story is about 3 people who may not have hit the front page of any “Times” magazine! huh! but who cares! I believe they have hit the the headlines of their passion. Hanuram Sanjeev, Anup Shenoy and Dr.Sohan today depict what thousands believe with in themselves “to achieve”. Busy schedules, arduous examinations, baffling scenes at the ICU did not prevent these guys to attain what they always dreamt of!

“Life is a stage and we all are actors” echoed Shakespeare! indeed it is proved these three, I still remember the first meeting of all these three.

“Tensed, excited and panting, Hanuram Sanjeev a 19 year old diploma student at dayanandasagar college came to me

“I want to do theatre” he whispered with a sense of fear in his mind. The story from there is no lesser than a drama itself! from Production guy to a director, he essayed his presence everywhere. Amidst countless shouting from his directors and those countless hard jobs at Production, he stood there with a dream to be a director. I still remember that day when I was directing Malgudi daze! I asked Hanu to get out of the lighting console as he did not have the mind and concentration to do proper lighting! he quietly stepped outside the light room and waited outside until I met him outside right before the show, he looked at me as tears rolled out from eyes he bowed his head in silence! those tears made me see his passion towards WeMove and theatre! they told me that “One day I will be a director!” they cried to me seeking for help! I was defeated then not by his tears but by his passion towards WeMove.

Cool, Calm and Composed! May be a slight lack of confidence, what seemed like was, he lacked motivation! I met  him with one of his friend who was pretty complacent having her meal! he mentioned “He could sing…” huh! I sighed! The man of few words and more emotions waited nearly 8 months to step on the stage! he came into WeMove when things were wide apart, confused! puzzled week after week Anup Shenoy used to drive from electronic city with a hope that he will find himself one day on stage! and when he went on stage! it seemed like a calm wave hitting the banks. I remember the scene when I finished the recording of the song for the play ‘Namma Metro’, I went to Anup and told him “I expected you to sing for Namma Metro track” he replied back with a sight right into my eyes as “I think you should give me a chance” he smiled only to resort to his acting, that’s when I realized that his smile then spoke of many words which had never touched my ears before! I felt the passion for WeMove and theatre in his smile!

He missed his family and yet he never missed a line in his role!

Scattered! rugged! Raw!, he sat there in one corner wondering “Where have I come?” he was there! just because he wanted to be there! With absolutely “no idea” as to where to put him, he just started acting odd roles. Somewhere in his heart he knew that he was more talented than this. He stood there for days watching the rehearsals with an anxiety, Well he was a doctor! to add to his woes he had to always attend to emergency’s be it girl “friends” or his patients but he decided to hang on! When Malgudi daze was supposed to be staged, there was a situation when we were short of our own guitarist! only to realize that Sohan had a hidden talent not only with guitars but with music in general. I had expressed a doubt within myself about his talents on guitar and “proudly” I thought it was a risk! I asked him in a tone which probably makes me laugh today “Can you play guitars” he promptly answered “I can try!” he sighed! that day his sigh also spoke a lot of words! he signed, may be to tell me that “I live on strings” he sighed me to tell that “I can play! I just need one chance” the next day as he put his guitars around his arms, rest was history! I still remember that memorable day after he played his guitars, amidst all the applause he turned and looked at me and probably questioned with his eyes “Can I play?” I sat there wondering what to answer!

These are the extraordinary stories of extra ordinary people! real people of WeMove who come week after week, these are the stories of people who make WeMove, who believe WeMove will do something good to them, who proudly “claim”, WeMove as theirs; These are the stories of people whom you find on the big screen, these are the stories of people who do not get lost with time but get lost amidst their search for better creativity and talent. These are the stories of people whom I spend time with and when in alone makes me think “DO I REALLY HAVE THE TALENT IN ME TO MATCH UP TO THESE PEOPLE/STRUGGLE”

Today Hanuram Sanjeev is directing his first play on October 2nd, Anup Shenoy is a lead singer of WeMove and no one can think of any song without his voice and Dr. Sohan is a magician guitarist, Together Sohan and anup recorded their first WeMove song which is a Theme song! for WeMove!

Cheers!

Abhishek Iyengar this time its only “Abhi”

The “Iyengar bakery” chronicle By abhishek Iyengar

Ah! feels nice to come back here and type “words”, I am starting my season 3, hold on! not any imbecile interview show! Season 3 of my goofy, sardonic blogs.

Ever since I changed my name, to add my “Iyengar” as my surname, I have ran into major issues.  Surprised? well little did I know people in future would ask me “Oh! Iyengar? so you own that bakery that is there in 3rd block, 4th cross across the main road in some slum where people do not have potential to buy a single a piece of bread! from your bakery?”  all I do is give a weird look turn around trying to figure out the bakery the guy just mentioned.

There can be million other sharma’s and gupta’s with absolute no relation with each other, similarly there can be thousands of “Iyengars” with absolute no relation to each other, Not all IYENGARS are tortured or forced to set up bakery’s. We do go to so called education institutions and do study! we do do crazy things just like other people out there and not only bake breads.

“Oh! are you owner of all the Iyengar bakery’s? in bangalore?” popped a gentleman after reading my last name, for some strange reason he still stores my name in his phone as “Bakery abhishek” huh! even after taking him through the whole clan of Iyengars, he wasn’t still convinced. Not soon ago, a very good friend of mine challenged me to pick up a free bread by just talking to him in his language, duh!

If I owned a chain of “Iyengar bakery’s” in banglore, I would have been settled in a much bigger mansion than that of Mukesh Ambani’s. I am not even responsible for the stinking cookies or so locally called “Benne biscuits” in the Iyengar bakery’s, they are BAD and i know! and I do not endorse them nor try them! No need to go to consumer court against me, it is just waste of time and energy!

It is just that some good man decided to open a bakery and unfortunately the pudden-headed person had to name it as “Iyengars Bakery” which caught by the name and has caused massive troubles now! atleast to me, like how SAGAR restaurants are not owned by SAGAR, similarly the IYENGAR BAKERY story, one doesn’t need to do any research and study in IIMB and stop questioning me on the “Bakery empire” and how I manage it, your research papers will definitely land in one of those bakery’s.

It’s official and for the last time around, similar to the million’s of Gupta’s, Sharma’s, Kapoor’s, Naidu’s, Iyer’s'; Iyengar is just a surname and “I DO NOT OWN ANY IYENGAR BAKERY ACROSS THE ROAD”.

As I finish writing this article, one of my colleague comes upto me and complains to me about his car’s bad tyres, as I try to finish this article with a perplexed face, he popped the next one “I need your help”

“what? how can I ?”

“I believe you own “IYENGAR TYRES !!!”

India that saw Ayodhya- By Abhishek Iyengar

As I sat in my house the whole day tuning every possible news channel, I was anxious to know the result of something which had probably run through 6 different generations of our country. The ‘Ayodhya verdict’, I was probably 8 years when the entire country saw shocking pictures of masjid being brought down, adding much to my childhood astonishment, the schools were closed and the grounds wore a deserted look then. Huh! These men I sighed as we dared to step onto the road to dig the cricket stump, only to be chased away by daring policeman who wore a complete deadly look then, which years later I understood was actually a ‘Helplessness’ look.

It only spoiled our evening ‘Pani puri’ session as the shopkeeper turned his shutters for the next 15 days to come, raising a new violence in our hearts against the then ruling government.

“Why should pani puri and grounds be shutdown?” we questioned, only to get a smiling answer from our parents adding to their joy that we had to spend the next 15 days studying and eating home food. Gosh! I hated those days, with only one frequency set those days on TV, the images of BBC, painted a new image of the country in my growing up days. Those days of curfew which actually meant more ‘School holidays’ had not set something right about the whole thing in my mind.

Today after 18 years, I was in the same situation, only this time I had a better mind to think and understand or atleast I believe so! I sat there to witness something that was historic, a judgement that would test India for its belief towards ‘Communal Harmony’ I sat there to witness a ‘New Modern India’ which had‘Moved on!’ Sitting amidst 4 walls and with holiday being forced, the last thing I was hoping was for the ‘Pani puri’ shops to be closed again, I hoped for a better India and resilient India.

As the media fired up the gates of ‘Lucknow highcourt’ it was time for a new test, ‘probably a test which even Dravid would have felt difficult to defend!’ The Media showed their patience and when the verdict was out, that was when I noticed the ‘New changing India’. I was out there in the streets ignoring 100’s of warnings only to find people coming out for a relaxed walk. Some how the deserted image of 1992 was slowly dissolving with new modern India’s look.

There was no sense of fear, I believed ‘our country has changed!” only to be corrected by my friend who accompanied with me on the roads as ‘We have changed!’ The global India now seems to be logical when it comes to ‘Communal Harmony’, I still remember in 1992 when I asked a policeman the reason for the shutdown for which he shrugged off ignorantly unlike today’s policemen who sang the tune ‘Togetherness’ I don’t know who won or who lost but today I was sure that our country is prepared for a whole new wave, a wave of ‘New Young India’ who care only about worshiping ‘not exactly where!’

As I wrapped up in satisfaction, my counterpart in United kingdom asked me “So how are the riots there mate?” for which I answered in a tone which was blooming high as our tricolour..

“huh! You mean riots my friend? Ah! I don’t know about that but I am here enjoying my evening dose of pani puri!”

-Abhishek Iyengar

Indian Citizenship verification test- By Gautham Kamath

‘My long time friend who can really analyze anything in this world, Gautham Kamath takes to blogging, in his very first venture, he writes about a topic, which we have fought upon a million times! read on as Mr. Kamath takes a whole new view on why holding or getting a passport is such a waste of time!”

A true tribute and our SALUTATIONS to a MAN who has made us PROUD for over 2 decades now!

Once upon a time there was a patriotic Indian gentleman named Vishy (Not to be confused with Viswanathan Anand).He was an awesome chess player and World Chess Champion, who used to represent India in all major global Chess tournaments.

For some reason, he was asked to Prove his Indian citizenship, for which he had to meet an Officer in HRD Ministry.

With all difficulties he managed to get an appointment with that Babu(IAS Officer). He promptly went to HRD Dept, but had to wait outside the office for 2 hrs before he could get a chance to move in. Sadly, nobody, nooobody(including the HRD and Sports Ministers of India, who were passing by)  recognized him though he was then a World Chess Champion who represented India.

Knowing the reason for Vishy’s arrival, shady-looking Babu asks Vishy to sit.

Then Babu starts asking questions sarcastically -

Babu: “Mr. Vishy.. The Indian Citizen…”

Vishy: “Yes Sir”

Babu: “But your records don’t say so…”

Vishy: “Sir but..”

Stopping Vishy in the middle, Babu Continues:

“Let me ask you few simple questions, which will prove whether you are Indian or not.

“Where were you born? “

Vishy: “In Mayiladuthurai Sir”

Babu: “Mayila kya?”

Vishy: “Mayiladuthurai Sir, a small town in Tamil Nadu”

Babu: “But you are residing in Spain for years?!?!”

Vishy: “Temporary sir, for professional reasons I …”

Babu: “Haan Hann theek hai theek hai, Now show me tuza Mayiladuthurai in that Indian Map” and points his fingure towards Indian map hung below Madamji’s photo.

That map had only metros, district HQs and few other places. No Mayiladuthurai. Vishy still searching.

Babu: “5..4..3..2..1… Time’s up.

“ok.. Where did you study?”

Vishy: “In Chennai Sir”

Babu: “Excellent… Then Beedy, Cig, drinks, disco, girls, ragging, gang wars, ****** films, eve teasing, class bunking, rocket throwing, cards, gambling, matka etc etc; Kuch toh kiya hoga naa tuneh?”

Vishy: “Ayyayyo, no Sir, Kadavule… “

Babu: “Still you say that you studied in India?, interesting…

Vishy: “Ok, what are you now?”

Vishy: “I am Chess Player Sir, World Champion. I am representing India in..”

Trring trring.. Babu’s phone rings.

Asking wishy to wait, Babu lifts the receiver: “Hello…. Oho Ania ji, boliye kaise yaad kiya hame?… Citizenship problem?…… Dont worry, I will help you get India-Pak Dual citizenship. Bass hamare fees.. ha ha ha.. bye..”

After dropping the call, Babu continues: ” Yes Vishy, where were we? Haam, you are a chess world champion. Any match fixing or something like that?”

Vishy: “No no sir,Never. I am real hard worker. I have been playing chess since…”

Babu: “Ok.ok.. But I am wondering whether Indians play chess also!?!? I dont see anybody playing anything other than Cricket in India… By the way, if you are Indian, you also would have played cricket right?”

Vishy: “I am Indian sir, but dont know how to play cricket.”

With birthplace not found in Indian map, no Indian-student like track-records, no involvement in match-fixing, and worst of all – No Cricket; Babu  now almost convinced that Vishy is not an Indian. Then he decides to put Vishy to this Ultimate test.

Scratching his head Babu says: “Now I have enough evidence against you to say You are Not an Indian. No problem. I can sort it out. But the thing is…….. he hee hee….” with his hand under the table.

Perplexed Vishy wipes sweat on his forehead, failing to understand what that Babu was up to; failing to understand ‘True Indians’ way of asking Bribe’.

Now Babu is 110% sure that Vishy is not Indian. Suddenly jumping from his seat Babu says: “Aha.. Checkmate…whom do you think you are fooling, you spanish idiot, get the hell out of here. NOW”.

Vishy: “Sir but I have got Arjuna award, Khel ratna etc..”

Babu: “Big deal. Every other bat lifter gets these awards. Its a mere print-out. If you go to Shivajinagar(B’lore), you can get Bharathrathna replica also. So it is not enough to prove that you are Indian”

Vishy: “Sir , Sir, how can you say that? I was born and brought up in India. I have got Only Indian passport. Here is the original one sir.” Shows his passport.

Babu: “Huh, there are millions of people roaming around without any passport. Do you say that they are not citizens of any country? Moreover I can get you passport in any name you want. So Mr. its no proof.

“Ramukaka, koi ise dhakke maar ke bahar nikalo”.

Vishy while Ramukaka was dragging him out: “SSirr, Indian passport, awwwaaarrrds, Indian ffflllag while playing, bbbboorrn and bbbroughttt up here, nnnot even applied for annny other cccountry’s citizenssshhip…. sssiiirr, sirr, saaaaaaaaaaar”…

Cover that matters the most- By abhishek Iyengar

“First we need to get a new cover.. it will get spoiled.. “, shouts the uncle in the neighborhood! raising his BP levels, “tomorrow I am going to the market to get it and there are no second thoughts on that” he exclaims, “I thought he will give us free” justifies the lady of the house! huh! the suspense was in-tolerable as i peeked into their house to check on what’s happening!

‘Crap!”, ‘holy shit’, I dismayed! Yes! the inevitable had happened, I couldn’t believe my own eyes, They had bought a new TV and the TV remote was not covered!! can any one believe that? ‘A brand new Television’s remote completely lying their bare with absolutely no cover on it, what’s more the TV either did not have a cover and the salesperson had duped them of a remote cover! as they tried to calm down and I walked down the steps of their house to only add to my appall! I had never seen a Bare body TV remote in my life! leave alone TV remote, I have never seen any appliance bare body! we are typically ‘covered’ people here in sub-continent, Yes we like to cover every possible thing available to us in this world! Long before telephones were just discovered into Indian houses, where having a land line was all the ‘Status Que’ one had to show it off! we covered those telephones with ‘Turkey towels’, ‘handmade woolen cloths’, ‘cut Saree pieces’ what not? Creativity was at its high and ‘Telephone covers’ were sold like ‘hot dogs!

The old VIP suitcase and its ‘Military cover’, the eternal ‘Bajaj’s Scooter spare wheel’s cover’ and the oldest of all, ‘Spectacles cover’ which was an ounce heavier than the spectacle has brought in us a whole new tradition of covering things, We do hate to see things bare, we only enjoy when they are covered, believe me! when they are covered hard.

With the advent of ‘television in our homes, our ‘Covering’ creativity just got bigger! dark,bright television covers ruled our houses, the covers were actually more priced than the ‘Television’ itself. When ‘Charles Babbage’ invented ‘computers’ least he knew that We would invent ‘covers for computers’ from big brands such as ‘Zenith’ to local market side shops, computer cover business made ‘hay’ while the rest of the world saw us astonishingly! “Computer cover free” became the most powerful ‘Marketing strategy’, As Indian opened their ‘Economic gates’ to the outside world! we were exposed to a whole new ‘Economical revolution’, ‘The cover revolution’. Things got smaller and faster and so our ‘covers’.

The automobile industry revolutionized the whole world and so did our ‘COVERS!” those plastic covers were on our cars and scooters for decades to come, the chance of an engine wearing out was high, but the covers on our bikes and cars did not loose their charisma! they glittered and glittered to glory. ‘Reselling’ rates were decided upon the amount of ‘covering the automobile had’, the car accessories had created a record with their plastic covers, 4 generations made sure that the covers were intact. We loved those covers hard! our passion for covering did in fact affect the whole world

Little did steve jobs knew that his revolutionary ‘I-pod’ would even find a cover to fit in, The mobile  and laptop world did not stop us from ‘covering’ either. Leather pouches, handmade cloth covers, those plastic covers et.al it only got bigger! higher the appliance, costlier the cover, smaller the appliance, bigger the cover. “Cover that”, “Cover this” we covered every little thing in our life, indeed it was our treasure and we had to make sure it had to be covered!

We covered every little thing with plastic! or did we really cover? huh! if only we had covered ‘Everything ‘with plastic’, ‘Our population would have not crossed a billion mark’  or ‘We had to counter HIV and AIDS’

Cover it! cover it intelligently! fight against HIV

Inception movie- My Perception!- By Abhishek Iyengar

As I set to watch the movie which had captured millions of people this season, they say ‘Dreams unlimited’, well when ‘Dreams become a part of reality?” or may be “REALITY?” huh! I was believed to literally prepare myself before i could step into cinema hall, I read loads of pages before I could sense “Inception”

‘You dream! and then Dream to reality’ stuck me hard, the line in the film which said “Never construct a dream out of your own memories” actually had invoked in me a bigger dream, as I wrapped the film and rose to go home filled in a deep surprise and with an pinch of feeling that went something like “What the f@(&##?”, “How is it possible to think of such a script or a story line” for a moment I thought I was ‘Dreaming’ to have been sitting in a cinema hall and watching a nerve breaking film such as this.

My head was constantly cogitating on the story line and then it stuck me! was it completely new? ‘Dreaming is not new’ which the film makers also knew I suppose but the whole concept of planting an idea in the sub-conscious mind is not so new to us, just go back down the memory lane and you will find your grandmother telling stories on indian mythology where ideas were formulated only through dreams!

Ramanujacharya dreamt the fact that he had to settle down in melukote for years to drive the whole “Shree-vaishnava” philosophy down south, There is an interesting legend associated with the birth of Adi Shankaracharya. It is believed that, Lord Shiva appeared in the dreams of Sankara’s parents and asked them to make a choice, whether they want to have a mediocre child who lives a long life or a precocious child who would not survive for a longer period of time. Thus, they mutually decided to go in for the second option. Later, a son was born to them, who was named Shankara.

Stories doesn’t end here, it is believed in my family that my great grand father actually met few villagers in his dream who persuaded him to take up the job of ‘offering pooja’ to the village deity which inturn happened to be a dream, not that I had to build this one. Indian Mythology is perhaps driven by dreams and planting ideas in dreams with every second king and sage getting dreams and ideas planted.

Kamsa, the great daemon himself predicted his death by the dreams that he got, where he dreamt of his nephew killing him; stories never end here, as I tried to churn out more logical meaning to the the whole concept of ‘Inception” I was beginning to realize that “Inception” is strongly related to our ‘Indian Mythology’ only that the centuries ago we did not have a camera to capture it. “Placing ideas in one’s mind” is actually a known trick which is proved to be a successful technique right from the day our mythology was born! In a very ‘not so famous’ interview, the makers of multi-billionaire blockbuster movie ‘Avtar’ accepted the fact that the film is partly based on the concept of  “Aatma being the real soul and the real protector the body is just Karma” which is exactly the phenomenon our few shastra’s preached us ages ago.

So what is gone is coming back! I kind of felt relived after the fact that “Inception” is nothing but a recreation of our story in a new bottle, as we move ahead into ‘next generation cinema’ I see most of the films based more on the Indian philosophy and mythology. As i wrap up my ‘perception’ I just “dream’ that one day the thing line between dreams and reality masks your ‘Totem’!

Macha!- she is there da!- By Abhishek Iyengar

A:-”Macha! we have those steps da, It is kinda cool macha!”

B:-”No da, see here is what we need to do, get the first song, cut half into it maga and then mix it with a ‘pop’ macha! think Micheal jackson you duffer!”

C:-”Ok Macha, then what we do is we will pull those steps, and get the girls on stage, i bet you dude! the roar you get is out of box!” believe me..

D:- “Sir, 3 kings kodddi( broken kannada), tell me macha wat other plan you have…”

pulls up his ‘Low waist’ Levis jeans, trying to light the ‘evergreen’ kings from a lighter hung to the tree..

A:- “Macha, this time I have to impress her da.. She doesnn’t even look at me, you know ‘Bakul’ no?”

B:- “Come dude, with this dance, she will be all yours.. i bet you on that” drags a puff, coughing out half of the smoke, indicating every person near by that he is a novice when it comes to dragging

D:- “Ok Macha, here is a plan, we will include her in the dance da… then she can be your partner, what da what do you say?”

C:- “No, No, she should be amazed seeing us and you! no fun in she dancing,Listen! here is the plan, I will annouce da tomorrow, she will be very keen to see us, That’s the trick duffer!”

Still trying to drag! also his falling trousers.. huh! do not forget the ‘wildcraft’ bag which is almost hung!

Did I forget to mention the ‘I-pods’, ‘I-phones”, ‘Nokia- E series’ and a ‘Samsung Corby Duo’?

A:- “Macha, I love her da” he expresses his feeling in a tone which slightly abject tone!

B:- “Then, you can do it Macha.. she will know your talent, see you have to dance over the lyrics ‘simply’ as i tell you…”

“Sir, innondu kingsU..” orders to the vendor, There you go ITC! the only company which hired during recession!

Drags the cigarette, see da, “You will be wearing a red color dress da, she will be sure in red or some yellow color, when you come on stage, we will introduce you as ‘heartthrob’ of XXXXXX college (err! had to censor college name!)  and then macha you will do that step which we all thought you, SOLO da, think how many of us can perform SOLO macha and then we will join da in the middle…”

C:- “But Macha, will it be ok if we suddenly add that tune.. da.. ?”

D:- “No macha, what we do is we will not add suddenly!!- Nice grammar here, he continues..

D:- “what we do is.. simple da macha.. see we will not add this suddenly.. what we do is….”  – is?? for god sake, this is getting to my nerves, is??? what???

B(suddenly, graces a loud smile.. with shifting his cigarette to his left hand..):- “Macha!!! you got it, you are a genius… (laughs suddenly…..as loud as it can get..)” (turns to C)”Macha, you got it right.. we will not play the song suddenly.. but.. macha, what a solution..? “

C:(realizing, bright smile on his face..):-(laughing all over the floor), “Macha, you are genius.. yes, we will not play the song suddenly..(claps hishand in air, and strikes it against each other’s hands..)

But for god sake what is the solution???? huh! my nerves cracked.. but continued..

A:- “Macha’s you are friends ra.. you are really friends ra…”

ah! I thought ‘ra’ was out of fashion, I believe that my father used to use it when he was studying in ‘Tumkur govt school!”

B:- “And then after that part, we will do the another part.. where we will ask the girls to stand like this..”

He demonstrates..

C:- “Macha, still a macha?”

another questions..

D:-”Come on! da no da not still da.. then we will move in between da… “

A:- “Macha, super idea da, hope she see me da..moving in between, I will practice fully da today night.. I will not eat da anything till i do this perfectly, I swear on you da…”

and then grabs a huge piece of “Panner burger..”

C(shocked):- “Macha?????”

They all stood their surprised as A finished gulping his ‘Panner burger..

A:- “Machas I meant ‘rice’ da…..”

All throw a thunderous laugh… and strike each other hands in air

D:- “We were choked da.. “

All laugh ordering another round of ‘Diet Pepsi’ and ‘cigarette’

A:- “Dad is giving the money, machas tomorrow we will buy costumes ra, we will go to mantri da… hey what are the costumes da…”

B:-”Hey what da.. come” on da! macha.. you DON’T KNOW THE COSTUMES?????”

C(suddenly realized):- “OHOOOOOO, I got it ra.. Macha! that is the costume ra…..”

D:: “Macha, what an idea ra… macha you are great da….. “

drags another smoke…..as they strike each other’s hands once again in air and I strike my mind in vain

Huh! not again, what was the costume???

As they drag one more, D picks up a call on his ‘iphone’

D:- “Hello Macha! what ra????”

Meanwhile A,B and C discuss

All three:- “We will show her da tomorrow.. she will be yours da….”

D:- “Macha’s”

as his tone sinks like a ‘broken Iceburg’ in the ocean..

All three:- “What da? house a ??”

D swallows his saliva deep into his throat.. smashes the cigarette on the floor and tells

D:- “macha, our dance for tomorrow’s freshers party got canceled it seems da….” tears roll out his eyes.. as he tries to hide them..

B:- “Why da?” he sulks his tone.. and questions..

D:-”No time it seems da, so they cut our dance da from schedule…”

All go silent as the cool breeze runs over.. with tears trying to slip out of their sulking eyes and drying voice….

A:- “That means.. she will not see my talent.. da tomorrow? Machas I have lost her da.. I guess da….”

Ab:- “Macha, no da… are you joking or what…?”

Suddenly a voice brought a new light, as all four look on in only hope to find that one voice…

B:- “who.. who are you…” stammers B

Ab:- “Abhishek Iyengar da. macha.. what da’s simple program got canceled and you are sulking…. come on macha’s..”

C:- “dude! who the hell are you….?”

Ab:-”One of the macha’s da…a friend ra..slightly old da but still da(turns to A):- Macha she is yours da… I am telling you da…listen to me macha….”

Sir, 5 tea for my macha’s…”here is the plan da….array! macha, did you get the plan macha….”

As we fade out, I do not, actually know why I did that.. but I saw myself when my first ‘Drama’ got canceled in my college.. but I certainly know the pain of “getting canceled”