It was as if destiny, coming from a family of Engineers who broke their ways into writing algorithms and flowcharts only to make the sort or search better or perhaps to find the shortest way possible to identify a prime number, I too joined their wave. A computer Science degree in hand and a Masters in a industry which makes you mint your money which is now become a PERCEPTION! The Great American dream was always part of my DNA, the nuances of getting a H1B stamped was part of every discussion when the family met. The per hour billing rate was the most talked about topic and I stood their calculating my per hour capacity to write.
It was a sin for me to have not clocked the “Admit” stamp of world’s most powerful nation and with almost 9 years of my software struggle, each of my previous manager with a serious tone on their face told me “You have to be more proactive to bag your US opportunity” I sobbed silently and more so I sobbed because of the pressure of the times when we stepped out ‘To make this world a better place’
I had started a Theatre company and much to every one’s laughter I wanted to run it, pursue a career in it, I was pro-active, just that I was proactive enough to make sure that every light on the light bar was focused, every line in that white paper was emoted and every person I knew paid about 100 bucks to watch something I always thought I could create but that was not enough for me to live the American Dream.
Every dinner table I was on was filled with jokes from Newjeresy or Newyork, every wind that blew had to be from the dairies of California, I was almost invisible, my stories on Malleshwaram or stories on Basawanagudi had no chance of finding any place. I was almost a criminal for not being stamped being in an IT industry and most of the times my ability and intelligence was measured by the fact that I had a passport which did not have an US Visa. For past 15 years of my life every moment when my heart beat it beat to criticism of not being there, it beat to people judging me, it beat to the question that people raised of “Is he even successful?” I just consoled every time telling myself that my parameters of success was always different.
When time came for me to take the mantle of Theatre onto myself 24/7 the line I read was “The Great American Dream collapsed!” There was just noway that I could get there and I was one of the outlaws that the modern ‘Bhramin-Bangalore-India’ had not seen in recent times, if there was a corporal punishment available then I would have served it by now.
H1b, L1, B1/B2, F1 were some of the most depressing combination of alphabets and numbers of my life. The tears had dried up, the criticism were just bouncing on a thickened skin, the stories remained untold and the ears had just become deaf over the years, I had moved on!
Today I travel for the second time to United States of America, not to build those complex Data Structures nor to solve the Algorithms that was outsourced to us, I am travelling to tell my stories of Malleshwaram, Basawanagudi and stories I believed in with a hope that my stories will ‘Make this world a better place’