The Stinky Stingy media – Guest Article by Ashutosh


We all know how powerful media can be in instrumenting things that would never be possible otherwise. From covering the latest mishaps and tragedies to providing justice to the most unknown and unheard people, there is nothing that the media has not achieved.

But recently the media has become more of a business rather than a power house. Every other news channel is trying to find out what the biggest celebrity is wearing for the day rather than trying to report that the countries poor have nothing to wear at all.

They say Rome wasn’t built in a day. But I say, Yes, Rome wasn’t built in a day but “AAJ TAK” can bring it down in an hour. In a few years, the news has changed from “India has won the Natwest series, Yuvraj Singh emerges as the young star” to “Yuvraj singh spotted with Sania Mirza! Whats going on there!” and “Sania has found a new man!” rather than “Sania has FAILED miserably again in the sport that she is representing – tennis”.

Why has the media fallen so low! A lot of it has to do with the expectations of the masses. People don’t care if the external affairs minister is working on reforming the outsourcing industry. A lot of the folks are interested in knowing how many ministers are throwing their slippers (yes, a lot of them wear ONLY slippers) at the honorary speaker.

With this trend, I have come up with an interview between a media person and a common man who turns celebrity.

An interview between “NSTV (NonSense TV) 24X7” and a young man who recently lost his job.

Interviewer : Mr. X, welcome to the show! We are glad you could make it here.

You recently lost your job, right? Could you please confirm that in front of the millions of audience watching this shown for reasons unknown?

Mr.X : Yes, I have lost my job yesterday.

Interviewer : Ok. So people as you can see, Mr. X has lost his job recently and is still holding up fine! (Really, and you could sense that from????)

Interviewer : Mr. X tell us, how do you feel after losing your job to recession. (The interviewer has no clue what in God’s name recession means but she sure will use it 7200 times a day)

Mr.X : Wants to say “Oh I am delighted! I have no money, no job, my wife is surely going to leave me, I am certain not to get another job and I am pretty sure I am on the verge of committing suicide, but I am so happy, I can’t control my smiles!)

But ends up saying “I am trying to look at the positives of this. I will spend more time for myself (‘cause I wont have a wife anymore), I will try and meditate (to avoid driving myself to suicide) and look for better opportunities (if there are any)”

Interviewer : Ok. So people as you can see, Mr. X is seeing a lot of positives out of a hopeless. From what we have learnt, he is pretty much a loser in his personal life, and now that he lost his job, he has sunk even further. Congratulations!

Interviewer : Mr.X, tell us, why did you lose your job. Is it really due to recession? Or is it because of the fact that you were performing hopelessly at work.

Mr.X : What! It is obviously due to recession! Who said I didn’t perform?

Interviewer : It was just a question Mr. X.

Ok. Tell us, is it true that you were seeing your bosses secretary and that completely enraged you boss to the extent that you were fired?

Mr.X : What!!! That’s not true. Who said that! Tell me, was it Mr. Y. who said this? He has always been jealous of me.

Now doubting his own credentials, he thinks.. “Did I have any kind of affair with Julie? I don’t remember! Did I lose my job because of this! God! I need to talk to my boss!”

Interviewer : We cannot disclose our sources but rest assured, it cannot be doubted.

Interviewer : Ok Mr. X, a few more questions. Is it true that you leaked your company secrets to a rival company?

Mr. X : huh! (by this time he has completely blown his lid) How in God’s name did you come up with that!!

Interviewer : As I said, we cannot leak our sources, but I can say that Mr. Y never lies. (Yeah! That’s what you call “NOT leaking your sources”)

Mr.X : These are completely baseless allegations. All of what you said is untrue. I lost my job due to recession… RECESSION (he spelt it out for her… loud and clear… but what he spelt was RESSION).

Interviewer : Ahuh! Ok… folks as you can see, Mr. X is blatantly refusing a lot of truths. Mr. X we performed a sting operation on you and have solid evidence that all of the above allegations are true. Here they are.

And a tape is played. And what a tape it was. Mr. X was a pretty healthy man, if not fat but the man in the video was so skinny that he could hide behind a twig and would not be noticed. The person in the video also spoke with a strong local accent which Mr. X did not have.

But no one would want to believe that Mr. X was not wrong. People want to see Mr. X crucified for the deeds that he did not do. After all it was the media that brought it out. It has to be true.

Moving on..

Mr. X : What the hell! That is not me! The guy in the tape looks nothing like me. Look at him!!! The tape is doctored.

He was almost in tears.

Interviewer : Mr. X are you doubting our sources?

Mr. X : Oh no! Why would I doubt the sources? The man in the tape weighs as much as one of my feet. Why would I doubt that it was me? And I would leak company secrets! Are you crazy, is this some kind of movie or something?

Interviewer : Mr. X , the whole world is seeing you in the tape.

Folks, if you think that the person in the tape is Mr. X, SMS the word “Yes” to 1234567890 or “No” if you don’t think so. The first 100 SMS will get a chance to spend a quiet lunch with my neighbor (who is 90 years old)r. Hurry!

Mr. X was sweating like he was in the middle of the Sahara desert. The interviewer went on playing a dozen more tapes that were cheap and demeaning to the core. But that wouldn’t stop the news channel.

The interviewer went on…

Interviewer : Mr. X if you question our sources once more, we will file a defamation suite against you and sue you for everything you have.

Mr. X : Everything I have! I DO NOT have anything! Zip.. nothing… empty pockets! Don’t do this!

And with a broken heart, Mr. X agrees that he was the one in the tape and NSTV is right.

Yet again, the media was instrumental in bringing down a cheating conniving individual.

Please note, once again this is just a fictional rendition of the media. Readers discretion is advised.

One Comment Add yours

  1. Abhishek says:

    It is said that writing is nothing but putting creativity into test! facts written should be portrayed in such a way that people read it enjoy it and some where in mind think about it! I must say you have achieved everything in this article, kudos!

    Like

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