Driving Schools!!- By Abhishek Iyengar

With recession masking most of the employment sectors except for Heath care! what is more needed at the hour is innovation! Bengaluru festinating with motor vehicles day by day, driving schools today are making merry! and to bring in innovation especially on Bangalore roads here are some of the”Certification-Courses” that the driving schools can offer and believe me! it works

1. How to drive on the footpaths?

Yes! motorists in Bangalore now are more addicted to drive on footpaths rather than roads! it requires great skill and talent and the upcoming generation should be well prepared to drive on foot paths! with technology increasing day by day our very intelligent government might take measures by introducing “DRIVE-FREE” foothpaths huh! rather than building “TRAFFIC-FREE, POTHOLE-FREE” roads, so it might become mandatory to have this special training!

2. Pierce and Drive away!

If you are business man and drive daily towards the roads err! (if there are any!) of Chickpete, KR market Majestic, Avenue road, KR puram et all. then this training is more than a ‘Need’! Pierce and Drive away! is a simple concept which teaches you how to push your vehicle between two buses which have ‘fortunately‘ err ‘Un-fortunately’ taken the wrong route and stuck in between! also certain precautionary measures will be taught w.r.t avoiding all the pan! and other unwanted waste materials popping out from the windows of these buses!

3. Avoiding the AutoMen!

This is the most toughest part compared to all! Namma Auto drivers come with special equipped “Artificial intelligence” ya Right! they are termed as “most uncertain fellows!” the motorist can never judge the “Right way” when it comes to “Auto fellows!” This session gives you a brief idea of different kinds of “immediate-turns”, “Immediate-stops”, “Immediate-breaks!” etc etc of auto fellows! However please do keep in mind that these are just the samples collected! the actual barriers these auto drivers create can never be assumed and simulated! no matter how rash or cruel you try to be!

4.Hosur Road driving!

This is a special session to all our techies! yes if you are working in hosur road then you got take this session, It deals with the various barriers that you encounter the very so-called famous “Hosur road” on way to “electronic city” the barriers can be anything from a “Deep 5 kilometer pothole” or “a part of flyover falling off due to poor construction”, it can also be the bus breaking down in between due to over-maintaince!”, “can be all the hoopla created by the private buses, and their bus stops being situated right at the center of the road” or “even the zillion nails and other construction materials thrown on the road adding to the agony of motorists”. This session also comes with a free course which deals with “self puncturing” which cuts your daily costs that you shell out for the puncture guy!

5. Magic Box driving!

The BDA’s most innovative project magic box has resulted in a new certification course!, the ‘Magic box driving’, all the magic boxes are so well constructed that they are either filled with water during rainy season or with vehicles during normal season! If you encounter a magic box then you need to know the right elevation or else you might get lost in the “dungeon like magic boxes” also the course deals with the amount of break that you need to apply to stay in control! yes you might as well buy an extra brake!

6. Rain Dancing err! Driving

It is very important for the rainy season! The aftermaths of rain on our Bangalore roads are not so pleasant! with absolutely no major vent outs to drain all the rain water the motorists are forced to sail away! rather than driving away! This course also deals with special sessions of how to convert your 2 or 4 wheeler into a “Titanic” look alike

7.Patient Driving or waiting?

This is especially required when you loose your control waiting for days on road for that on “VIP car to pass off” The only thing that can give you company during that time is your patience!

8.Dealing with wrong signals and sometimes non functional ones!

There must have been times where you wait for hours together hoping to see that “Green light” only to find after few hours that the signal light is not working and it stays red for another 5o years to come! This session teaches ‘state of the art’ techniques to identify whether the signal is functional or not? also this session helps us to deal with all the wrong “One-ways”, “No entry boards”, “wrong route maps”, “wrong markings” etc etc all derived due to over-concentration of the police men working on field!

9. Dealing with the Policeman

Last but not least! Dealing with traffic police man is an additional certification course offered, in this course you will be briefed about all the “traffic rules”! correct ones! not the “Claimed ones” also you will be thought different ways to tackle the police man for catching you since it was a “month end” and also few tips to escape the clutches of the police men!

p.s:- I wish all the motorist a safe journey on BANGALORE ROADS! and also please let us know if there are more certification courses to be added!

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